Smash-Me-Doll

The concept of violent stress relief is hardly anything new, although most anger management counselors will tell you to avoid such stress relief habits. Why? Because those habits supposedly lead to a cycle of rage or negative reactions to stressors. That depletes the fun of this prompt, though, doesn’t it? Even with that bit of logic, there are hundreds upon hundreds of people I wish I had a doll of to smash or something - for various reasons. Most of all, I wish I had one of Fred Phelps. Why? Because the man has infuriated me from the moment I first heard of him. His ranting; his raving; his hateful ignorance - I don’t care about hypocrisy - who protests the funerals of dead soldiers or hate crime victims? Has he no sense of modesty, or of shame, or of respect? And he calls himself a minister. To me it’s one of the most obnoxious things on the planet to hear any news related to that bloody man.

Then just ignore him! That’s what people will say, and, for the most part, it is largely possible to ignore Fred Phelps. It’s not like he’s based in LasVegas. Even so, I’ll run into stories about him here and there, sometimes even in the News Paper, and it drives me absolutely bloody nuts. He’s as bad as Bill O’Riley out at Fox News. And, yes, yes, yes! I would most definitely love a “Smash-Me-Doll” with a commemorative gold hammer of Bill O’Riley - who preaches to the choir and basically calls any dissenting opinion that comes his way ‘hostile’ or ‘stupid’. That new innovation on his show of the ‘hate o’meter’? C’mon. That’s arrogance. It measures all phone calls that aren’t sucker-kissing him as an extreme hate - even modest ones that simply say ‘I disagree’, not just ones that are filled with vulgar or maddening swear-words. He’s a fear-monger, and, in my mind, he plays on the same tactics as Phelps. Therefore, it’s an equal annoyance.

Oh. Yes, yes, yes. If I were going to have a Smash-Me-Doll, it’d have to be of one of those two men.